I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
