I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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