I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
