i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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