I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
