I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My life is pants optional.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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