Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize