I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
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