I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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