I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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