Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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