She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
