and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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