if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
