So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
