He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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