It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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