Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
