the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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