we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
