i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize