did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
