In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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