Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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