I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
