i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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