I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
