I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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