Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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