If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
