I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
