you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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