so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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