have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
