I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
