did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
