Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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