We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
