Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
even my farts smell like vagina
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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