this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
