worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
