the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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