Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
