i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
