He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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