Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need a beard to bite.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
