S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
