Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
