haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
