So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
As shirtless as possible
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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