Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He shit in the fireplace
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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