Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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