I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
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