i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize