so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
