Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
