I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
either way he was missing a nipple.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
