I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
