I faked an abortion last night.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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