One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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